


Time is an illusion (that helps things make senses)

by hereforthehurts



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Caretaking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Kind of a slowburn but not so slow ??, Light Angst, Lots of talking and yearning whjdkjdgds, MAN do they have a lot of issues, Talking, anyways i had a lot of fun with these angsty yearning lesbian grandmas, kyalin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereforthehurts/pseuds/hereforthehurts
Summary: Lin gets injured in action and Kya rushes to Republic City, hoping that she's not too late this time.
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Kya II
Comments: 17
Kudos: 157





	1. Falling

**Author's Note:**

> It's kyalin time 😁😁😁 I love these angsty lesbian grandmas so much. I promise the next few chapters r coming soon lol. Enjoy !!

Kya lived most of her life being thrown into crisis after crisis since the first time could remember.

She remembered the countless nights she and her brothers had spent on an air bison, sleeping uncomfortably while their mother watched over them as they ran away from danger, their father somewhere in a battle. She remembered having to pack her belongings and get away from home to her uncle's place or the Fire Palace in matter of seconds because being her parents' child means that their lives would never be normal, ever.

And in some way, Kya had grown accustomed and rather fond of the rush, the restlessness. That was one of the reason why her wanderlust burns inside her, never letting her stay in one place for too long.

It was a blessing, the wanderlust—she would never have been what she is now if it wasn't for her experience from years of travelling the world. But the whole thing was also born from her childhood trauma. And with that, it was also a curse, in a way.

Like how she wasn't there when her father died.

An hour too late, they say. Just _sixty_ _fucking_ _minutes_ too late for him, for the last time.

Kya regrets it until this day.

That's why she had been afraid of making the same mistake ever since. That's why she gave up her whole life and moved back to the North Pole with her mother after her father died. That's why, when Tenzin had told her that the Red Lotus was on the loose and his family might be in grave danger, she moved in with them without second thoughts and watched over her nephews every night ever since.

And that's why, when she had heard the radio calling for healer backups for Republic City—eight officers down and more coming in—Kya's head immediately jumped to one thought.

_Lin_.

Kya presses the reply button on the radio. "Hello? Republic City Central Hospital, this is Master Kya, over."

Static. Then, a reply, "Master Kya? What do you need? Over."

She presses the button again. "What's the status on the officers? Over."

"Five more just came in. Over."

"Any identifications yet? Over."

"None clear yet. The clearest one was a woman with two scars on her left cheek. Her face was severely bruised, so we're not sure..."

Kya felt like her heart jumped into her throat.

The next thing she knew, she's riding on some random air bison to Republic City, begging it to go faster, praying to the spirits that she wouldn't be too late, _not this time_ , over and over again.

_Please. Not this time. Not_ **_her_ ** _._

The ride felt like forever. It felt like she was flying on and on across the the endless lands and sea, hopelessly begging the bison to go faster, begging time to give her a chance. Just another one. She cursed herself for being so far away from the people she loved in the first place. It was as if—

—as if she was running away from them, all the time.

No. _No_. That's not it.

Kya tries to focus herself on the road.

Instead she's imagining Lin, on one of the hospital beds, hurt and injured and _alone_. She's imagining her dying, and nobody was on her side.

No, no, _no._

This _isn't_ happening.

If only she hadn't been so far away. If only she could have stayed! Maybe Lin wouldn't be alone right now. Maybe for once in her life, she wouldn't be too late.

Dread suffocates her, feeling like someone is weighing a battleship anchor on her chest. Tears slips away from her cheeks and drops into the wind.

Time goes by as it had always been.

And Kya was always too late.

* * *

The sun had already set down over the horizon when Kya finally stepped foot into the Republic City hospital.

She had left the bison somewhere on the Air Temple Island—too rushed and panicked to drop by and say hi to Tenzin and his family—and caught a ferry ride to the city before running to the hospital as fast as her legs would take her. There's no sign of distress or rush amongst the face of the people on the streets as she passed them by, which made her draw a conclusion that whatever caused this, it must've been outside the city. Nothing she had to intervene with.

(That sounded selfish, she knows, but right now, there's only Lin in her mind. She had learnt that being selfish is okay too, sometimes. It was _necessary_ _._ She isn't going to make the same mistake her parents did a long time ago.)

She isn't going to put the world over the woman she loved the most.

The chaos was almost nostalgic as she passed the hurried doctors and nurses on the lobby of the hospital. She remembered serving as a healer in the military back in her days before her father died—it was always a rush out there, always a surprise. Kya loved it to bits, even with all the people telling her that she could _—should—_ be in better places. That she should choose something more quiet, more peaceful— have a life, settle down and have a family, maybe.

But Kya wanted none of it. It was almost as if she was scared of the peace.

And she is. She just couldn't quite figure out _why_.

"Ma'am? May I help you?"

Kya was pulled back into her body, back to the almost chaotic surroundings of the hospital. "I, uh—I'm looking for the officers who were brought in today."

_Come on, Lin. Come on. Please be there._

The nurse softens, sympathy written all over her face. That couldn't be good. "Oh, I see. They're in the fifth floor, left wing—though most of them hadn't been identified yet, unless you remember their badge numbers—"

Thirty nine eighteen. _Thirty nine eighteen_. "Yes, I do, is there a board or a system I can look on?"

"There will be a board with their badge numbers on the fifth floor lobby." The nurse nods, then said softly, "take care and good luck."

Kya didn't know what to make out of that.

Three nine eighteen. Thirty nine eighteen. She repeats those numbers in her head like a prayer, over and over again. Thirty nine eighteen. Thirty nine eighteen. _Thirty nine eighteen._

There were five numbers crossed out with a red marker on the board once she got there. Kya stared at it for a moment, paralyzed.

Eighteen twenty one.

_Thirty nine eighteen._

Twelve forty three.

_Thirty nine eighteen._

Thirty sixty eight.

_Thirty nine eighteen._

Fifteen seventy two.

_Thirty nine eighteen._

Sixteen twelve.

_Thirty nine eighteen._

She's crying. Tears of sadness, tears of relief—she doesn't know anymore. She doesn't _care,_ because all she cared about was Lin, she's here, she's alive—

Everything was a blur after that.

Kya remembers going through the hospital hallways, looking for thirty nine eighteen. _Thirty nine eighteen._

There's so many doors. Too many doors.

_Thirty nine eighteen. Thirty nine eighteen._

And then there she was.

On the bed, silent and unmoving. Bandages on her leg, her hips, her shoulder. Bruises all over her body.

But it was her. It's Lin. It's _Lin_. Kya couldn't mistake the two scars on her cheek. It's her and she's alive, she's breathing and she's _alive_. She's here.

Time had given her a chance. Time had given _Kya_ a chance.

And she's not going to waste it. Not anymore.


	2. Reaching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kya and Tenzin recalls their past pains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAYY so this took longer than it should ... . .. . i am so sorry. Also yes this fic is half inspired by the song Time Adventure by Rebecca Sugar !! enjoy :-)

Kya didn't remember sleeping, but she woke up that night to the sound of a monitor beeping rapidly in alarm.

Her eyes widen. _Lin_. "Lin! Hey, hey, I—"

Lin was awake, dazed and confused and panicked, trying to get up and out of the hospital bed. She's fumbling with the IV cables on her wrist, trying to set herself free, frowning when Kya called her name.

"Lin!"

The woman blinks twice. Her mouth tries to form a sentence, but nothing came out.

"Lin, it's okay," Kya says, softer this time, trying to get her to calm down. She guides her shoulders and gently pushes her back down to the bed. "Hey, it's me. You're safe. You're alright. I'm right here."

Lin gasps. "Kya—"

"It's me," Kya assures. "What's wrong, Lin? A nightmare? Did you—"

She slaps a hand over her mouth. "I—'m think I—"

"Okay, okay, shit—" Kya grabs a spare bucket below the bed, shoving it below her chin just in time for her to heave into it. "Easy, Lin, you're alright. Get it up."

She gathers her short gray hair behind her head, pressing gentle circles on her back and wincing when something splatters against the metallic bucket.

 _How many times has she been like this alone?_ Kya couldn't help but wonder. _How many times had Lin_ _been sick, or injured, or cried alone, simply because she was too far away from her?_

What would it take for Kya to come running for her? To _stay_ for her?

_Death?_

_Yes_ , a voice in her head said. _You only came running now because you thought you were too late. Have you ever considered that maybe, you **liked** being too late?_

_No_ , Kya wanted to screan. _No_ , **_no_** , _of course not._

(But she couldn't even make myself believe that.)

Late, late, late, late. She was alwats too late.

 _"It's too late,"_ she remembers Lin say that one night. _"It's too late for us to work, Kya. We're too old, too busy with our own lives. It's too late."_

Too late, too late, too late.

Kya helps Lin lay back down gently, pulling the covers up to her shoulders when she visibly shivers.

"Kya," Lin whispers, surprisingly coherent for a moment. "Kya, you—you..."

"Shhhh," Kya soothes, running her fingers over her scalp gently. She relaxes almost immediately under her touch. "I'm right here, love. I'm right here. I—" Kya chokes on her words for a moment, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes, "I'm not going anywhere."

Lin sniffs and nods, falling back to sleep in a matter of a few seconds.

She looked so... weak. _Fragile_.

Kya wants to hold her in her arms and never let go.

(Maybe she should.)

* * *

(She didn't.)

Kya didn't dare to. _Too much of a coward to love_ , her mind says.

And it's right.

She alternates between sleeping and waking, trying to watch over Lin the best she can in case she woke up confused, or scared from a nightmare, or needed to throw up again.

Sometimes she catches herself caressing her fingers on her face, her shoulders, her scars—but she always pulls herself away eventually. It hurts to keep staring at her face, but Kya couldn't bring herself to look away no matter how hard she tries.

Lin mutters in her sleep, reaching and calling.

Kya slips her fingers between hers.

_I'm here, love, and I'm not going anywhere._

Was that a promise? How long could she keep it?

Kya held Lin's hand tighter. Lin's rough, sturdy hand. _An earthbender's hand_ , she remembers her mother say lovingly while she bandaged Toph's hand, back when she was just a little girl.

Her mother had loved Toph like a little sister. Her mother had loved her father and her brothers and the rest of their family every day like it would be her last. Her mother had never been scared loving.

_So why is she?_

Kya's heart aches for Lin, but her mind said that she'll only get hurt. That she was too late. She always was.

_"You're too old to do this kind of things anymore, mom," Kya had told Katara weeks ago just as she, Toph and Fire Lord Zuko was about to board their ship (made of metal, Toph had insisted) all on their own, to go sailing to god-knows-where like they used to do when they were young._

_Katara just laughs. "Are you really questioning about our safety here, Kya?"_

_"No, but—"_

_"I'm old?"_

_Kya sighs. "I'm just worried, mom."_

_"You were eighteen when you did this same thing all on your own, you know."_

_"Yeah, exactly. I was **eighteen** , not eighty."_

_Katara runs her frail old fingers through her daughter's loose hair, chuckling softly. "I will be just fine, sweetheart. I'm still one of the most powerful waterbender in the world, you know."_

_"Why didn't you do this sooner, traveling the world?" Kya asks her hopelessly. "Why didn't you do this when you were younger?"_

_"Well, things weren't exactly predictable back then, were they?"_

_Kya huffs. "No, I guess not."_

_Katara softly. "Don't worry about me. I'll write to you every week."_

_She shook her head. "Why didn't you do this when it wasn't too late?"_

_"Oh, Kya, **nothing** is too late," Katara tells her softly, shaking her head. "Besides, it's always better late than never, hmm?"_

Better late than never.

Kya brings Lin's hand closer to her as she repeats it over and over, in her head.

* * *

It was seven in the morning when a nurse finally enters the room, bringing a clipboard and a pen with her. She greets Kya politely before moving on to check on Lin's vitals (an earthbender, Kya assumes), making sure that everything is fine.

"Has she woke up in the past few hours?" She began questioning her. "Any headache, nausea?"

Kya nods to all of them. "Nothing really conscious, though," she added.

The nurse nods, eyes glued on her clipboard as she took note of it. "Good, that's good. I'll prescript some medication for her nausea and headache. We'll be changing her bandages sometime in the afternoon, and—"

Her words were cut off by the sound of the sliding door being opened, another nurse sticking her head into the room. "Excuse me, there's uh, some visitors insisting to see Miss Beifong."

"Visitors?" The nurse in the room frowns. "Visiting hours aren't until 10."

"They're _insisting_..."

She takes a glance at Lin's beaten up figure, her expression softening before shaking her head. "Alright," she sighs, nodding, slipping her pen back into her pocket. "They can come in and stay for an hour _only_."

Kya frowns as she watches the two nurse leave, wondering who the visitors were. Maybe Suyin and her family? Maybe... Toph? Would she even know that her daughter was injured in action and was dying until a few hours ago? (It made Kya feel a little angry, thinking about it. How could she not come running for her? Doesn't Toph care about her daughter, even if it's just a little bit? She didn't know what had been going on between the two, but if she was in Lin's position, Kya _knew_ with her heart that Katara would have come running for her.)

(But again, who is she to judge? She herself had been staying as far as she could from Lin until yesterday, when she heard about her dying. _A huge hypocrite, that's what you are,_ a voice says inside Kya's head, and it was right once again.)

"Kya?"

But it wasn't Toph, nor Suyin.

It was _—_

"Tenzin?"

Kya released her hold of Lin's hand almost immediately as she stared at her younger brother on the doorframe, both completely paralyzed.

He clears his throat, trying to break the silence. "What are you _—"_

But Kya isn't taking any of it. "What are _you_ _—"_

"Right!" Pema shows up from behind them, breaking them both apart cheerfully, carrying a lunch box in her hands. "Great to see you, Kya. How have you been?"

"I..." Kya blinks. "I was _—_ I just, I _—_ how did you _—"_

"The hospital...” Tenzin shook his head. They sent a letter to the Air Temple _—_ said that Lin was injured... how did _you...?_ ”

“Radio. Called me here as a backup healer,” she says quickly. “It’s... it’s nothing personal. I’ll leave, now.”

Her brother frowns. “Nothing personal...?”

But Kya had already left.   
  
  


  
  
She ended up sitting in the very end of the dark hallway where no one can see her, waiting for Tenzin and Pema to leave. She repeats curse words over and over in her head as if it would make her feel better.   
  
_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! What would they think of her, now? Of **them**? Would they jump into the conclusion of her and Lin being together?_ Kya laughs at the irony.   
  
She didn’t even know that herself. 

It’s so complicated. It’s so complicated and messed up that she finally thinks that maybe, people were right about her. About starting a life while she was young. About leaving her job and settling down somewhere before it was too late. Before it was _too fucking late._  
  
Tears ran down her cheeks once again, only this time Kya didn’t exactly know what kind of tears it is. Frustration? Anger? Sadness?   
  
Maybe all three. It feels like it.   
  
  
Kya lets herself sob. 

  
  
  
“Excuse me, ma’am?” she looks up when a nurse calls for her, sympathy written all over her face. “There’s, uh, a phone call for Miss Beifong, but since she’s not awake yet, _—_ “  
  
“I’ll take it,” she nods, wiping away the tears from her face. “Just _—_ give me a second?”  
  
“Of course.”

The nurse leaves ahead of her, walking back to the station desk, and Kya follows shakily behind her. 

She doesn’t know what to expect when she puts the landline phone on her ear. “Hello?”

“Kya?” It was her mother’s voice. “Oh, Kya, thank god. We’ve been trying to get in contact for hours _—”_

 _“_ What _—_ what’s going on?” Kya frowns even deeper. “Mom?”

“I _—_ oh, goodness, I’ll get Toph on the line, alright?”

There’s some rustling, followed hurried whispers on the other side. Kya waits on the other side impatiently. “Mom?”

“Hello, Kya.” It was Toph’s voice that greets her on the other end this time. “How’s _—_ how is Lin?”  
  
Kya closes her eyes. _Oh. “_ She’s... holding on. Stable, for now.”  
  
A relieved sigh, then a slight sniffle, “That’s _—_ that’s good to know.”

  
  
Silence. 

  
  
“Take care of my girl for me, will you, Kya?” Toph whispers.   
  
Kya nods absently. “You should come,” she tells her. “She misses you more than she lets on, you know.”  
  
A small chuckle. “I’ll think about it.”  
  
The phone line ends. 

  
  
  
_What... was that?_ Kya wonders. _Was that some sort of progress?_ At least now she knows that Toph actually cares about her daughter. It felt like she was interrupting something so deep and personal between them. 

  
  
Maybe she’ll tell Lin that her mother called to ask about her later. 

Kya moves back to the dark corner of the hallway and sits there for a long, long time.

(Or at least, that’s what it felt like.)

  
She thinks about everything and nothing. About families, the ones that are broken and the ones who are still holding on together. About her brother and his wife, his children, _his_ family. Having one isn’t a life goal _—_ it shouldn’t be. Some people were perfectly fine and happy without a relationship in their life, like how Bumi is.   
  
Unfortunately, Kya isn’t one of those people, no matter how hard she tries to be. No matter how much she tries to lie to herself.   
  
She wanted Lin. She _needed_ Lin. All the sleepless nights she had spent thinking about her, how it would feel to wake up to her face every day. To make coffee and breakfast in the morning for her, how it would feel to hold her harsh earthbender hands in her soft, healer ones. How it would feel to make her laugh, her arms around hers, feet tangled in one another.   
  
Every day, those imaginations plagued her mind. It hurts her suffocates her. It felt like there’s a huge lump of rock in her throat every time she thinks about it.   
  
She wants it to stop, but at the same time doesn’t. 

  
  
  
Kya ached for it so badly. She keeps reaching, and reaching _—_   
  
But Lin was always too far away.   
  
And she never knows how to make herself stay.   
  


  
  
  
When Kya looks up again, Tenzin was a few seats away from her, standing awkwardly.   
  
She frowns. “What...?”  
  
“Hello, Kya.” He clears her throat. “I, uh, haven’t seen you in a while.”  
  
Kya shrugs. “Well, I was busy.”  
  
“Why are you... why are you here, then?”  
  
Her defensive walls spikes up. “I don’t recall that’s any of your business.” She regrets her words almost immediately. “I’m sorry. That was _—_ that was mean. I’m just... tired, I guess.”  
  
“Did you come here for...” Tenzin shifts. “Lin?”   
  
“She’s a friend.” Kya hates how she says it without hesitation. “Of course I’d come for her. Isn’t that what you’re doing, too?”  
  
“Yes, but _—_ I saw it, how you held her hand before I _—_ is there... something between you two?”   
  
_Now_ he’s overstepping. Kya sighs harshly, feeling her blood boil under her skin. “Now _that—_ I don’t recall _that_ being any of your shit, Tenzin _—”  
_  
Tenzin’s face fell, realizing how bad the question sounded. “I didn’t mean _—_ I just... I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”  
  
“As you fucking should _—_ “   
  
“I’m just asking because I cared about you, okay? You’re my sister, and I...” He held his arm, looking away

  
_Oh_. 

Oh, hell no.

  
  
Kya remembers the day Tenzin and Lin broke up. She wasn’t there, but she knew something was wrong from the way Katara wrote her letters to her when she stated Lin and Tenzin breaking up as “something interesting”. Even more so when Tenzin wrote to her confirming her worries, saying that he had a new girlfriend named Pema, who was, his words, “much nicer than Lin”. 

  
  
Kya came home from her trips almost immediately. She remembers barging into her brothers’ room, shouting curse words at Tenzin, almost beating him up if only Bumi hadn’t stopped her. 

  
  
She remembers going to Lin’s place, how wide the girl’s eyes were when she opened the door and saw that it was her. She remembered sitting in her room with her, apologizing over and over for her brother being an asshole, for breaking her heart.   
  
It was painful, seeing Lin so torn like that. “ _Why did you two broke up?”_ She had asked her.   
  
Lin stares into the distance and says, “ _I told him I didn’t want kids.”_  
  
It was enough to make her want beat up her brother all over again before Lin had said, _“It’s okay. Wasn’t his fault. I’m too much of a coward to start a family, it was all on me. I was scared that I’d—that I...”_  
  
_End up like my mother_. Lin didn’t need to finish her words for Kya to understand what she had meant. Eventually they just sat there in Lin’s room, hugging each other for a long time.

  
  
It hurts her even more to listen to Lin cry. 

  
_  
I wouldn’t break your heart,_ she wanted to tell her. _I’d have you, and it’ll be enough for me. I’ll have you, and you’re going to be everything I’d ever wanted. Everything I’d ever needed.  
_  
If she was an asshole like Tenzin, Kya might just let those words roll out of her mouth.   
  
But she isn’t. So, she stayed silent.

She just didn’t expect it to be this long. 

  
  
  
“I just don't want her to hurt you the way she hurt me, Kya.”

  
Kya felt the same urge to beat her brother up from years ago. The only thing that’s stopping her now was that this is a hospital, and she had to maintain her job as a healer. She lets her heart speak, anger burning inside her, forming a familiar lump in her throat. “ _You’re_ the one who hurt her, asshole _—_ you broke up with her because, what, she doesn’t want kids? And now you’re telling me that you _—_ ”   
  
“Kya! I _—_ “  
  
“No, you don’t get to do this shit with me, okay? You don’t get to hurt her and leave her like that for _years_ and then tell me that she’d hurt me. You didn’t love her as much as I did, as I _do._ You never do, Tenzin. So don’t give me this. _Don’t_.” 

  
Tenzin stares at her for the longest time. 

  
  
“You... you loved her?”   
  
Kya scoffs. “Can you be more fucking blind?”   
  
He shook his head, stuttering. “Since _—_ how long...?”   
  
“Forever!” She exclaims, throwing her hands up. “I don’t recall _that_ being any of your shit either, but while we’re here anyway, I have been in love with her since we were fucking children running around barefoot on the dock of Lake Laogai, Tenzin! I’ve always been standing right here but she never sees me because all she ever really sees is _you!_ And then you broke her, you _—"_

  
  
Kya gasps for air, tears running down her face without her permission, heat on her face. Her heart feels both heavy and light, both drowning and free, she just doesn’t know anymore.

  
Sobs broke out of her like water in a broken dam. 

  
  
Tenzin’s speaking, but she doesn’t hear him. She doesn’t _want_ to hear him. His arms were around hers guiding her to sit on the nearest bench while she struggles to breathe, her hands wiping away the tears from her face over and over again.   
  
“I’m sorry, Kya,” Tenzin keeps whispering, holding her. “I’m sorry.”  
  
“I hate you,” Kya mutters out, but she doesn’t even know if she really means it anymore. “ _I fucking hate you.”_  
  
“I know. I’m sorry.”  
  
He stays there, holding her, muttering apologies over and over, his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back while she sobs into him. This time, Kya doesn’t try to break away. 

  
This time, Kya melts into him. 

  
  
This time, Kya forgives him.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: okay so I'm re reading this and realized that Kya forgiving Tenzin feels kind of too rushed, but at the same time doesn't?? Bcs I was thinking that Kya had forgiven her brother a long time ago, she just doesn't know it/doesn't realize it until she lets things out and says it out loud 😁


	3. Staying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kya and Lin talks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! I hope you guys like it :-) !!! I'm rlly into slowburn but i can never be patient enough to write one lol. Shoutout to those who can whjdhkgjkjks. Happy reading !!

Kya doesn’t know how long she’s been staring, but it was long enough for her to remember every single curve and scar on Lin’s face like it was the back of her own hand.  
  
  
She wants to trace her fingers over them so badly, yet she pulls away every time she catches herself almost doing so. There’s the hurt inside her, the wanting, the cycle of reaching and pulling that’s driving her insane.  
  
Her brother’s words kept repeating in her head.  
  
  
 _“You know, dad probably thought than Lin was going to be his daughter in law.”_ He says it with a light, joking tone—She knew he didn’t mean her any harm, but it harms her anyway as she smiled through it. _“And guess what? She still could be.”_  
  
  
  
  
Kya scoffs. _Easy for him to say.  
  
  
“You love each other, more than both of you would admit,” _he had said. _“Just go for it.”  
  
  
  
  
If it was that easy_, she seethes, _wouldn’t she have done it years ago? When it wasn’t too late? When everything doesn’t seem so far away, so far out of reach that her heart suffocates with hopelessness even though everything she’s ever wanted was right in front of her?  
  
  
_ Tears slipped out of her eyes, sliding down her cheek with an excruciatingly slow pace that she had to wipe them out with her palm angrily—but more just kept coming and coming, like a steady river flow that she couldn’t hold together, and Kya buries her face into the cold, comforting hospital sheets, _again_ , for what felt like the hundredth time. Hands on the back of her head, fingers pulling on the locks of her hair, messing the elaborate updo she’s always made sure to keep intact for a long, long time.  
  
  
  
  
Sobbing, hurting, wanting, reaching.  
  
  
  
But _hoping_ , of all.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kya doesn’t look up for a long time.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
So when she does look up to find Lin laying on the bed, awake and staring at her with a mix of emotions she couldn’t quite figure out, the first thought that goes into her head was, _shit._  
  
  
And then, after a string of more coherent thoughts; _fuck_ , _Lin!  
  
_ Kya scrambles up from her seat. “Lin—you’re awake, I—” she tucks the stray hair away from her forehead to the back of her ear, cleaning the mess of tears on her face shakily. “You—Lin? Are you okay? Should I… Lin?”  
  
  
The other woman stares at her still.  
  
  
  
Then, with a small voice, “I thought you were in my dreams.”  
  
  
  
Kya breathes a deep sigh of relief. The situation was so ridiculous that her head falls into her hand as she stutters out a genuine laugh. “That is,” she looks up, “singlehandedly the _hottest_ thing you have ever said to me.”  
  
Lin rolls her eyes, the corner of her lips tugged up into a smirk, laughing with her.  
  
  
And then that laugh became a cough. Then another, and another, her shoulders rolling with each one, and suddenly Kya’s world felt heavier again. She grabs the glass of water from the nightstand and runs a soothing hand back and forth on Lin’s shoulder blades. “Breathe,” she mutters to her. “Breathe, Lin. It’s okay.” She tips the glass of water to her lips once her coughing subsided. “Are you alright? Any chest pains?”  
  
Lin shook her head. “Just… sore, I guess.”  
  
Kya hums in acknowledgement. “Yeah. You’re going to be feeling like that for a while.”  
  
She just shrugs. “Well. I’m used to it, anyway.” Lin laughed a little when she says it, but Kya couldn’t help feeling even more terrible. _Used to it, huh?_  
  
  
  
 _She’s used to it.  
_  
  
  
“Are you hungry?” Kya shook her as she tries to dismiss that thought away. “You shouldn’t eat immediately. Your body’s still waking up.”  
  
Lin eyes the steel food container on the table across the room. “Did… did Tenzin…?”  
  
“Yeah,” She nodded. “And Pema, too. Brought something for you to eat when you’re ready to.”  
  
Lin smiles. “I did the right thing, then.”  
  
“What thing?”  
  
“The letters,” she tells her. “The uh, the ones they send to your family if something happens to you during action.”  
  
Kya stares at her. “And you…”  
  
“Made them send it to Tenzin and his family, yeah.” Lin shrugs. “It wasn’t… I didn’t know if it was a good idea at first, either. But I had nobody—”  
  
 _She had nobody.  
  
_ “…Su is so far away, and my mother…”  
  
“—she called,” Kya cuts her off, “your mother. She, uh, asked about you.”  
  
Lin blinks. “She did?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
A moment of silence. “Do you think she’d come for me?”  
  
Kya’s heart aches. “She… she told me she’ll think about it.”  
  
Lin chuckles, to her surprise. “Oh, thank god. I don’t think I can handle all this _and_ my mother at the same time.”  
  
 _Always so unpredictable,_ a voice in her head says fondly. Kya ignores it. “You should lay back and rest,” she says instead, getting herself busy to distract herself from the throbbing in her chest. _Always, always._ “You can eat tomorrow morning while I observe on your vitals. If nothing major happens for a full twenty-four hours, you can—”  
  
“Slow down, now, master,” Lin held her hands up, smiling in amusement. “You’re not going to stick around for me?”  
  
Her shoulders drop. “Lin…”  
  
“Come over here.”  
  
 _Don’t. Don’t do this._  
  
“Come on, Kya.” She held her hand out for her again, like a child asking for their mother. “I missed you.”  
  
Kya smiles hopelessly. “I’ll have to get your head checked for a concussion tomorrow.”  
  
“Why, because said I missed you?”  
  
“You’re being soft,” she withers.  
  
“I’m just telling the truth, aren’t I?” Lin shrugs. “I do miss you.”  
  
 _Don’t do this, Lin,_ Kya keeps pleading silently. _This hurts._  
  
  
“Come here.”  
  
  
Kya lets herself obey it. The few steps she took to get to the side of the bed felt like walking a hundred miles. And when she does arrive, Lin still feels so far away from her. So far out of reach.  
  
  
She doesn’t know how she’ll ever recover from this.  
  
Kya sits on the chair beside the bed silently.  
  
  
“Kya?”  
  
She looks up. “Yeah?”  
  
“Why are you… why are you here? Did you come because you—”Lin’s voice strains. “Because you were on duty?”  
  
 _No,_ Kya wants to scream it. _No, of course not, I came here because of you, I came here **for** you, I came here because I—  
  
_  
  
But she wouldn’t even say it in her own mind.  
  
  
“Why are you here, Kya?” Lin asks blankly. No hurt in her voice anymore, now—no pain, no hopes, _nothing._ It was somehow even worse. “Why did you come?”  
  
  
  
 _Tell her. Tell her you came because you were scared. Tell her you came because you cared about her, because you’re scared of losing her, because you—_  
  
  
  
“Kya.”  
  
  
“Because I was… because I was _scared_.” Her breath caught up in her throat, and she spills everything to Lin like a glass that’s been overfilled. “I came because I _care,_ about you, and I was scared that something bad was going to happen to you and I’d be too late. I didn’t want to be late. Not… not again.”  
  
  
She sobs.  
  
  
Lin lets her.  
  
  
  
  
“I never… I never saw it, the danger. The risk.” She made herself continue. “It was such a long life, you know. It was always later, and later—I was so sure there would be time for us again.” Kya lets out an angry breath, at herself, at how naïve and careless she was. “But then… dad happened. And then you, _you—”  
  
You were so unbreakable. Throwing yourself into battle with nothing but some strings and your own powers, your mind. Scars all over you, thin ones and faint ones and permanent ones, carved into your body like a tattoo you didn’t ask for. You were so untouchable and I was so sure of that, I **believed** that, how could I believe that?  
  
_“…you were hurt. You were almost gone, and… time felt finite again.” _  
  
I could lose you. Then I’d have to spend the rest of my life without you, and then—what would I be?_  
  
 _  
  
Why couldn’t I just tell you that—  
  
  
  
_ “I love you.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
And then it sunk in.  
  
  
  
  
  
There was no answer from Lin for a while. The room was deathly silent, Kya was sure that she’d lose Lin one way or another. Maybe they were just not meant to be. That happens, right? It happens. It was the one thing Kya had always feared, the rejection, the shame, the _that’s nice but we won’t work,_ the _we’re too late for that—  
  
  
  
  
  
_ and now it’s all coming true.  
  
  
  
  


“Do you think this bed would fit two people in it?”  
  
  
  
  
Kya looks up. “What?”  
  
  
“Do you think that this bed,” Lin repeats, not looking at her, “could fit two people in it?”  
  
  
  
“I literally just confessed _everything_ to you,” she deadpans, “and that’s the first thing you’re going to say?”  
  
  
“Well, what else is there to say?”  
  
  
“ _Anything,”_ Anger and frustration seeps into her chest, and tears formed in the corner of her eyes again. “Anything—say that you love me, say that you don’t love me, tell me to go away and never come back, _anything—”_

  
  
Lin stares at her while she writhe.  
  
  
“Do you… do you _want_ this? Want—” Kya’s breath hitched. _“Me?_ ”  
  
  
Lin tries to reach for her hand. “I always have.”  
  
“No, you don’t.” She says it with much more anger than she intended it to be. Flame settles in the pit of her stomach. “You told me that. ‘This, this kind of domestic life, it just isn’t for me’. You told me that. Many, many times.”  
  
  
“I lied.”  
  
  
“You lied.”  
  
  
  
The room went silent once again.  
  
  
“Just like that, huh? You _lied?”_ Kya asks. “Do you know how much time I spent crying over your _lies?_ Ashamed of myself because I _still_ wanted a life with you even when you told me you don’t?”  
  
Lin shook her head. “But you lied too, Kya.”  
  
“I…” her eyes widen, and her anger fades away almost immediately, replaced with shame. “I lied.”  
  
“You told me you were never going to be able to stay for anyone.”  
  
“Anyone but you.”  
  
“You didn’t tell me that.”  
  
“How was I supposed to?” Kya asks, despair suffocating her chest. “You didn’t tell me you wanted this, either. Wanted _me.”_  
  
“I’m sorry.” Lin mutters. “It took me some… time. Twenty fucking years, exactly. To realize that I didn’t want a life with anyone because I wanted it with _you.”_  
  
  
  
There’s a long pause while they tried to let each other’s words sink in. Then Kya spoke, “Remind me to always finish my sentences.” She laughs softly, and Lin follows, shaking her head.  
  
“I can’t believe this.”  
  
“Me neither.” Their laugh fades away, and Kya continues the conversation with a small voice. “What… what now, then?”   
  
  
_What happens after the big confession ends?_  
  
  
“Are we…” she says cautiously, “too late, Lin?”  
  
“Do you think I would care?”  
  
Kya swallows thickly. “So… what now? There’s… so much things we need to do.” Marriage, moving in. Children— _children?_ Would they even be capable of being parents?  
  
“We don’t have to figure it all out now.” Lin reminds her softly. “There’s still tomorrow, Kya.”  
  
“What if there _isn’t?”_ She asks. “It’s… that’s the whole point, isn’t it? What if there’s no tomorrow, Lin?”  
  
“Then at least you’re with me here now, right?” Her hand carefully slips into hers, and Kya gratefully lets it. “Would you regret that?”  
  
“No.”  
  
Lin smiles. She circles her thumb on her palm fondly, and Kya melts into it. _You don’t know how long I’ve been dreaming of this. Reaching, hoping, falling.  
  
  
  
And now you’re here.  
  
  
_“I was so scared,” she whispers to her, bringing their hands closer to her lips. “I didn’t want to lose you. Not this way.”  
  
“How would you want to lose me, then?” Lin asks quietly.  
  
  
“In a quiet room,” Kya’s voice breaks, and once again, she dares herself to imagine. To hope. “In our house, maybe.”  
  
“Our house?” Lin smiles in question. “What do you have in mind?”  
  
“Somewhere in the suburbs.” She answers. “Close enough to the city, maybe, so we both can still do our jobs.”  
  
“That sounds nice.” Lin sighs softly. “A garden?”  
  
“With a nice set of chair.”  
  
“Children?”  
  
They both smiled distastefully. “I think Meelo is already a handful for us,” Kya jokes.  
  
“This… is this what you’ve always wanted?” Lin lets out a shaky breath.  
  
“You,” she nodded. “You’re what I’ve always wanted. I wanted to—to be able to lose you the right way. Not too late, no regrets. Just in time, you know.”  
  
“In time?”  
  
“You’d be so old. We both would. More gray hair, more wrinkles,” she huffs out a laugh, “I’d be holding your hand, and it wouldn’t feel like losing you anymore. Because I know that you’d be waiting for me on the other side. And I would be ready for that.”  
  
“How… how do you imagine it?” Lin exhales. “That kind of love?”  
  
“My parents went like that.” Kya tells her. “And your mother always had _my_ mother. And Zuko, on her side. Being alone would be the last thing she’d be.” She traces a faint scar on Lin’s wrist softly. “We’re all loved like that in a way, you know.”  
  
“It’s scary,” Lin stares into the distance, “that much love. I’ve always been scared of it.”  
  
“Me too,” She held her hand tighter. “But we’re both here now, aren’t we?”  
  
“Yeah,” Lin’s soft exhale, shoulders relaxing, eyes slowly moving back to meet Kya’s. “We’re here.”  
  
  
  
They were here, together.  
  
  
  


  
  
And for the first time in her life, Kya stayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I feel like the song that'd be playing on their wedding would be Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County. Just imagine them dancing to it y'all.. . . oh god i need a wife

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr blog!!](https://hereforthehurts.tumblr.com/)


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